It’s selfish to be lonely alone.

emilychhinphotography_lonelyaloneLoneliness is a strange thing that comes and goes in my life, in which I have absolutely no control over, no matter how hard I try to subdue it. It hits me at the most unexpected times, which is why I created this typography poster: to remind me that one day, I will eventually find that other lonely person out there and we will be able to fill that empty void with each other’s company.

Even if I’m in a crowd of people, or with my own family, sometimes I can’t help but feel a little lonely — like I still don’t fit in. There are so many expectations of me that I’m afraid I won’t meet, and I constantly feel like I’m a dead weight, or a failure. I sometimes feel like my place in other people’s lives is slowly starting to fade away and I’ll eventually be forgotten.

How can I make an impact in the lives of others, for the better?

I’m trying to figure out the answer to that question, but keep coming up short.

I hope to share the beauty of the world through my photography and words, but it’s hard to get the audience that I’m trying to reach out towards. I feel like time is inevitably passing each and every day, and yet my words and art are still left unnoticed. If only I could stop time and figure things out before letting it run again.

I want to do something in this life that can help other people and touch their hearts, but I still don’t know what that thing is. I try to brighten the days of others with my kindness, but sometimes I’m very bad at expressing my feelings and end up being misunderstood.

I want to help others, but sometimes my fear of getting hurt holds me back. In this world, I’ve learned that being too nice and trustworthy means that people will take advantage of me and exploit that trust. I didn’t use to view my naivety and innocence as a negative thing; I used to think it allowed me to view the world differently — in a more positive light — and see the good in people that others may not see at first.

 

“When so many people are lonely, it’s selfish to be lonely alone.”

No matter how lonely I am, this quote reminds me that I am not alone. There are other people out there going through the same thing as me. There is nothing more therapeutic than knowing you’re not alone and being able to share the burden instead of carrying it all on your own shoulders.

Sometimes we just need someone there to listen.

If you are lonely when you are alone, you are in bad company.

If you are lonely when you are alone, you are in bad company.

– Jean-Paul Sartre

I came across this quote as I was reading the comments to someone’s post who said they were feeling lonely in college, and I couldn’t help but think it was such a coincidence that I was thinking that earlier as well, and how true this quote is.

The first week at my new university was pretty brutal, and I couldn’t stop comparing myself to everyone around me, who seemed to all have friends and someone to sit beside and talk to in class. For me, I came to this school by myself, and so I was completely alone. I started getting sad and lonely.

At first, I went to orientation, openly talked to random people in class, but it turned out to be really hard to keep in contact after, especially since all the lectures are so big. After I talked to them, I’d never see them again after that, and so it was hard for me to make new friends and hold onto them.

Then one day, I just suddenly thought to myself: what’s the rush? Why was I so intent on finding friends? Friendship is something that takes time. If they’re not your friend right now, maybe they’re not meant to be, maybe they are. You never know. Besides, I was here for my education, not to make a billion friends in the first month.

And so after realizing this, my time alone didn’t feel so depressing anymore. After I threw away that need to desperately find a friend, or to always be with someone, I found that being alone wasn’t so bad. Of course, this doesn’t mean I will be giving up on making friends; they will come eventually, when the time is right.

So to anyone out there who is currently feeling lonely in college or university. Don’t take it so seriously. Find something to do on your own time to keep you busy until clubs start having their first meeting. Watch tv, cook, play guitar, piano, whatever. When the clubs start, I bet, you and me both, will find people with the same interests as us. Join lots of clubs that interest you, and get involved in the community. That way, I’m sure you’ll end up finding some of friends.