If you are lonely when you are alone, you are in bad company.
– Jean-Paul Sartre
I came across this quote as I was reading the comments to someone’s post who said they were feeling lonely in college, and I couldn’t help but think it was such a coincidence that I was thinking that earlier as well, and how true this quote is.
The first week at my new university was pretty brutal, and I couldn’t stop comparing myself to everyone around me, who seemed to all have friends and someone to sit beside and talk to in class. For me, I came to this school by myself, and so I was completely alone. I started getting sad and lonely.
At first, I went to orientation, openly talked to random people in class, but it turned out to be really hard to keep in contact after, especially since all the lectures are so big. After I talked to them, I’d never see them again after that, and so it was hard for me to make new friends and hold onto them.
Then one day, I just suddenly thought to myself: what’s the rush? Why was I so intent on finding friends? Friendship is something that takes time. If they’re not your friend right now, maybe they’re not meant to be, maybe they are. You never know. Besides, I was here for my education, not to make a billion friends in the first month.
And so after realizing this, my time alone didn’t feel so depressing anymore. After I threw away that need to desperately find a friend, or to always be with someone, I found that being alone wasn’t so bad. Of course, this doesn’t mean I will be giving up on making friends; they will come eventually, when the time is right.
So to anyone out there who is currently feeling lonely in college or university. Don’t take it so seriously. Find something to do on your own time to keep you busy until clubs start having their first meeting. Watch tv, cook, play guitar, piano, whatever. When the clubs start, I bet, you and me both, will find people with the same interests as us. Join lots of clubs that interest you, and get involved in the community. That way, I’m sure you’ll end up finding some of friends.